Late-Night Comics Lampoon Trump's New 'Gold Card' Residency Plan

TV's top entertainers used the broadcast ridiculing ex-President Donald Trump's just announced visa initiative, called the "golden visa," describing it as a obvious cash-for-residency arrangement for the rich.

The Late Show's Witty Take

Starting his broadcast, Stephen Colbert offered a satirical Christmas song targeting the president. "He's compiling a list, checking it twice, and then handing that list to the officials at ICE," he crooned. "The President ... ruins everything he handles."

Colbert's target was the new plan that enables foreign citizens to acquire U.S. legal status for an investment of $1 million dollars, or "top-tier" tier for $5 million. A government website guarantees processing "faster than ever."

"A quick thought for you to wealthy applicants: before you pony up, what about Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He explained that the card is also intended to "extract cash" from companies wishing to hire skilled workers, involving large payments. "That is a lot of fees, though if you sign up, you additionally get free accommodation at a hotel of your selection – if it's the that one hotel," he added.

"The most thorough screening the government has ever done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these applicants completely meet the standard to be in America."

"That's important, you gotta prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert responded. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Critique

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the visa program the "American Dream Express Card."

"Here's a card that will let affluent foreigners to live here," he said. "For a million dollars, you get official resident status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one major crime of your selection."

"Maybe it's time to revise that message on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your tired masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel teased the lack of detail of the form, saying it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "thinks citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"That's right, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "It's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Grocery Issues

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's slipping approval ratings amid financial concerns. "People gave Donald Trump a second term because they were upset about the economy," he said.

Recently, in a effort to discuss affordability, Trump held a briefing in front of a array of grocery items, and behaved oddly to some cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take some of them back to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a ages."

"Trump is so incredibly weird," Meyers said. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by mocking conservative news coverage of Trump's economic record. "Maybe instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a shiny trophy like the one FIFA did," he remarked.